[havetoolswilltravel has logged on]
[notthewatcher has logged on]
havetoolswilltravel: Dawn! I'm in McDonalds! In Akron. They have wifi, and I'm not asking why. ....fi
havetoolswilltravel: Well, not in Akron. I'm finishing up a repair job on a bar that somebody whose name starts with V and ends with i smashed up a couple weeks ago, and then I'm outta here.
havetoolswilltravel: And bounced off the moose antlers hanging over the bar and landed on the jukebox?
havetoolswilltravel: Totally plausible.
havetoolswilltravel: So what're you doing up at the ungodly hour of oh wait you're in college nevermind?
havetoolswilltravel: What was that? I couldn't hear you. A flock of seagulls just flew over the roof and they were all yelling out something that sounded like "Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!"
havetoolswilltravel: Willow totally trained you in this, didn't she.
havetoolswilltravel: :-P I just called her on Monday OMG. And yes, I'm coming to see you and Buffy after this job. I was thinking sometime late this week.
havetoolswilltravel: There's a girl in ......Mozambique? No, Montreal. You know, one of those M names. I'm supposed to meet with her and her folks on the 26th.
notthewatcher: *snickering* You really should figure out what continent you need to be on, Xander. And whether you need a winter coat.
havetoolswilltravel: It's September! I don't need a winter coat unless I'm going to Antarctica. ....crap, am I going to Antarctica soon?
havetoolswilltravel: *checks scheduler*
havetoolswilltravel: There could be evil penguins!
havetoolswilltravel: *is too* And dammit, they're cute.
havetoolswilltravel: That's how they GET YOU. With the evil cuteness.
havetoolswilltravel: ........yeah, no.
havetoolswilltravel: Also plz remember who you're talking to here - have I *ever* dated a girl who didn't try to kill me at one point or another?
havetoolswilltravel: Nope. She was possessed by that bezoar thing, Junior year. Oh wait, there was Cally - she might've blown me up if she'd clipped the wrong wire once, but she never intentionally tried to kill me.
havetoolswilltravel: There are so many places I could go with either of those statements that I'm not gonna.
havetoolswilltravel: :-P Fine, but remember, if your sister asks, you were already corrupted when we got you:
havetoolswilltravel: If you put the helmet on right, you don't stick to the boys.
havetoolswilltravel: Lonely, celibate minks, yes.
havetoolswilltravel: ...MONKS WTF
notthewatcher: *pages Dr. Freud*
havetoolswilltravel: Though there was this thing about ferretsex one time. But it was a complete misunderstanding.
havetoolswilltravel:I don't want to know what 'mink' is sposed to be a freudian slip for. Clearly your brain is dirtier than mine. I rest my case!
havetoolswilltravel: I got an offer for some, from a non-ferret. Except it wasn't really for me.
havetoolswilltravel: Which funny, at the time I was kind of hoping if I pounded my head against the desk hard enough I could kill enough braincells to wipe that one from my memory
havetoolswilltravel: Scarily enough, me too. Though possibly I could live with not remembering the time I accidentally groped the very straight ferretsex guy while making out on the couch.
havetoolswilltravel: ...not with the ferretsex guy.
havetoolswilltravel: It was a crowded couch!
havetoolswilltravel: It was in *no* way orgylike!
havetoolswilltravel: SO HOW'S COLLEGE THEN?
havetoolswilltravel: In other words much with the groping and making out.
notthewatcher: Apparently I *intimidate* boys.
Good. You do know you're supposed to keep the stake in your pocket where they can't see it until they make a wrong move, right?
havetoolswilltravel: ...you're not taking *real* stakes on your dates too? Where the hell did we go wonrg?
notthewatcher: ...this is what they're talking about, isn't it?
havetoolswilltravel: Possibly yes. Or maybe it's the fact that you can translate Sanskrit?
havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and wait for the guy to show up who thinks that's awesome, because the rest aren't good enough for you anyway.
havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and kiss a lot of guys who aren't good enough for you? It worked for Buffy.
havetoolswilltravel: ...I so didn't say that
havetoolswilltravel: You are conniving and evil. Which would totally make you my type if you weren't twenty years younger than me.
havetoolswilltravel: Dunno who this old crush is, but I hope he doesn't have too many bruises. You're an intimidating chick. *nods*
havetoolswilltravel:Sorry, went up to the counter
for coffee. Which... tastes funny. Machine was making weird noises too. Really hope it's not those little Ratzitk Demons that place in Topeka had. I
was picking coffee grounds out of my hair for *days*.
havetoolswilltravel: ......no. Kind of chunka chunka doink doink. As you do.
notthewatcher: In your hair? Really?
havetoolswilltravel: They go kinda crazy when you try to get them out of the brew-pot. Kind of like weasels in a kjhskdjhk WTF? *watches*
*long, long, long pause, in fact*
notthewatcher: Have I killed you with singing percolators?
notthewatcher: I'll tell Angel you want his body...
havetoolswilltravel: .....so did you know that
boom-chika-chik-a-chi-boom is Fffnerfian for 'I know where your mom slept last night and it wasn't under the overpass like she said?'
havetoolswilltravel: Me? I didn't even know there were Fffnerians in Ohio. ...much less hiding in the coffee machine.
havetoolswilltravel: *sighs, picks grounds out of hair*
havetoolswilltravel: And pockets.
havetoolswilltravel: And shoes.
havetoolswilltravel: Possibly a shower, instead.
havetoolswilltravel: Also possibly I should walk out before the manager throws me out.
havetoolswilltravel: But you'll be with me in spirit, since I'll be singing man oh man what's that guy got in his hand, it's an egg it's a spoon it's a skdjhaslkdhaslkjdhlskdjhklash for the next six hours. *shakes fist*
havetoolswilltravel: *knows better*
havetoolswilltravel: *flees wrath of McManager*
[havetoolswilltravel has logged off]