soldtoarmenians: (computer)
[personal profile] soldtoarmenians

[havetoolswilltravel has logged on]

[notthewatcher has logged on]

notthewatcher: *pokes you*

havetoolswilltravel: Dawn! I'm in McDonalds! In Akron. They have wifi, and I'm not asking why.

notthewatcher: Yay, Akron! Does this mean you're going to be around for a while?

havetoolswilltravel: Well, not in Akron. I'm finishing up a repair job on a bar that somebody whose name starts with V and ends with i smashed up a couple weeks ago, and then I'm outta here.

notthewatcher: She's really, *really* sorry about that. She said she slipped.

havetoolswilltravel: And bounced off the moose antlers hanging over the bar and landed on the jukebox?

notthewatcher: ...yes?

havetoolswilltravel: Totally plausible.

havetoolswilltravel: So what're you doing up at the ungodly hour of oh wait you're in college nevermind?

notthewatcher: Studying! Yes, totally studying. And maybe pining away for a certain Xander-type person who hasn't been here for a visit in forever.

havetoolswilltravel: What was that? I couldn't hear you. A flock of seagulls just flew over the roof and they were all yelling out something that sounded like "Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!"

notthewatcher: If you weren't so awesome, I wouldn't miss you so much.

havetoolswilltravel: Willow totally trained you in this, didn't she.

notthewatcher: There may have been a discussion. She says you should call, by the way.

havetoolswilltravel: :-P I just called her on Monday OMG. And yes, I'm coming to see you and Buffy after this job. I was thinking sometime late this week.

notthewatcher: Yay! What are you doing after that?

havetoolswilltravel: There's a girl in ......Mozambique? No, Montreal. You know, one of those M names. I'm supposed to meet with her and her folks on the 26th.

notthewatcher: *snickering* You really should figure out what continent you need to be on, Xander. And whether you need a winter coat.

havetoolswilltravel: It's September! I don't need a winter coat unless I'm going to Antarctica. ....crap, am I going to Antarctica soon?
havetoolswilltravel: *checks scheduler*

notthewatcher: We have penguin slayers now?

havetoolswilltravel: There could be evil penguins!

notthewatcher: *is now imagining small penguins in game face and black leather coats*

havetoolswilltravel: *is too* And dammit, they're cute.
havetoolswilltravel: That's how they GET YOU. With the evil cuteness.

notthewatcher: I think you'd have to ask Buffy about that.

havetoolswilltravel: ........yeah, no.
havetoolswilltravel: Also plz remember who you're talking to here - have I *ever* dated a girl who didn't try to kill me at one point or another?

notthewatcher: Um...*thinks* What about that Anya girl you took to the pr...oh! Cordelia!

havetoolswilltravel: Nope. She was possessed by that bezoar thing, Junior year. Oh wait, there was Cally - she might've blown me up if she'd clipped the wrong wire once, but she never intentionally tried to kill me.

notthewatcher: Huh. Wow. You should have to wear a helmet when you date. Or just stick to boys.

havetoolswilltravel: There are so many places I could go with either of those statements that I'm not gonna.

notthewatcher: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

havetoolswilltravel: Good!

notthewatcher: *pouts*

havetoolswilltravel: :-P Fine, but remember, if your sister asks, you were already corrupted when we got you:
havetoolswilltravel: If you put the helmet on right, you don't stick to the boys.

notthewatcher: *giggling* And I so wasn't corrupted already. Made by monks, omg!

havetoolswilltravel: Lonely, celibate minks, yes.
havetoolswilltravel: ...MONKS WTF

notthewatcher: *pages Dr. Freud*


I don't want to know what 'mink' is sposed to be a freudian slip for. Clearly your brain is dirtier than mine. I rest my case!
havetoolswilltravel: Though there was this thing about ferretsex one time. But it was a complete misunderstanding.

notthewatcher: How can you have a misunderstanding about ferretsex? I'd think the ferrets kinda have the hang of that by now.

havetoolswilltravel: I got an offer for some, from a non-ferret. Except it wasn't really for me.

notthewatcher: still have the best stories.

havetoolswilltravel: Which funny, at the time I was kind of hoping if I pounded my head against the desk hard enough I could kill enough braincells to wipe that one from my memory

notthewatcher: I'm glad it didn't get wiped, even if it did make your head hurt.

havetoolswilltravel: Scarily enough, me too. Though possibly I could live with not remembering the time I accidentally groped the very straight ferretsex guy while making out on the couch.
havetoolswilltravel: ...not with the ferretsex guy.

notthewatcher: You were making out with someone and groped someone else! Xander! I'm shocked! If I had glasses, I'd be polishing them right this second.

havetoolswilltravel: It was a crowded couch!

notthewatcher: Uh huh.

havetoolswilltravel: It was in *no* way orgylike!

notthewatcher: Except for the groping and the making out.

havetoolswilltravel: SO HOW'S COLLEGE THEN?

notthewatcher: Fine. Very collegey.

havetoolswilltravel: In other words much with the groping and making out.

notthewatcher: No. Darn it.

notthewatcher: Apparently I *intimidate* boys.

havetoolswilltravel: Good. You do know you're supposed to keep the stake in your pocket where they can't see it until they make a wrong move, right?

notthewatcher: *is confused* I thought they were the ones with the stakes? Did I miss a health class?

havetoolswilltravel:'re not taking *real* stakes on your dates too? Where the hell did we go wonrg?

notthewatcher: Oh, *those*. Yeah, of course I have those. I usually keep one in my purse, one in my pocket, and chopsticks in my hair.

notthewatcher: ...this is what they're talking about, isn't it?

havetoolswilltravel: Possibly yes. Or maybe it's the fact that you can translate Sanskrit?

notthewatcher: Contrary to Andrew's opinion, they don't write rituals in Tev'Meckian. What was I supposed to do?

havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and wait for the guy to show up who thinks that's awesome, because the rest aren't good enough for you anyway.

notthewatcher: But that's so *boring*, Xander. And there's a lot less kissing that way.

havetoolswilltravel: Be smart and intimidating and kiss a lot of guys who aren't good enough for you? It worked for Buffy.
havetoolswilltravel: ...I so didn't say that

notthewatcher: *is dead* If you stay for an extra day, I promise not to tell Buffy.

havetoolswilltravel: You are conniving and evil. Which would totally make you my type if you weren't twenty years younger than me.

notthewatcher: OMG, it's only six! *beats old crush into submission* Er, I mean...oh, heck.

havetoolswilltravel: Dunno who this old crush is, but I hope he doesn't have too many bruises. You're an intimidating chick. *nods*

notthewatcher: He recovers quickly. And it sounds better when you say it.

*short pause*

havetoolswilltravel:Sorry, went up to the counter for coffee. Which... tastes funny. Machine was making weird noises too. Really hope it's not those little Ratzitk Demons that place in Topeka had. I was picking coffee grounds out of my hair for *days*.

notthewatcher: *giggling* Did it go wheeeeEEEeeEEEEeeee?

havetoolswilltravel: Kind of chunka chunka doink doink. As you do.
havetoolswilltravel: WheeeEEeeeEEEeee?

notthewatcher: WheeeEEeeeEEEeee.
notthewatcher: In your hair? Really?

havetoolswilltravel: They go kinda crazy when you try to get them out of the brew-pot. Kind of like weasels in a kjhskdjhk WTF? *watches*

*long pause*

*long, long, long pause, in fact*

notthewatcher: Helloooooooo?

notthewatcher: Have I killed you with singing percolators?

notthewatcher: I'll tell Angel you want his body...

havetoolswilltravel: did you know that boom-chika-chik-a-chi-boom is Fffnerfian for 'I know where your mom slept last night and it wasn't under the overpass like she said?'

notthewatcher: You never cease to amaze me. :D

havetoolswilltravel: Me? I didn't even know there were Fffnerians in Ohio. ...much less hiding in the coffee machine.
havetoolswilltravel: *sighs, picks grounds out of hair*
havetoolswilltravel: And pockets.
havetoolswilltravel: And shoes.

notthewatcher: I'm sorry...*snickering* No, really. Need a comb?

havetoolswilltravel: Possibly a shower, instead.
havetoolswilltravel: Also possibly I should walk out before the manager throws me out.

notthewatcher: You're leaving me? *sniffle*

havetoolswilltravel: But you'll be with me in spirit, since I'll be singing man oh man what's that guy got in his hand, it's an egg it's a spoon it's a skdjhaslkdhaslkjdhlskdjhklash for the next six hours. *shakes fist*

notthewatcher: *looks innocent*

havetoolswilltravel: *knows better*
havetoolswilltravel: *flees wrath of McManager*

notthewatcher: Bye! See you soon or risk the wrath of me!

[havetoolswilltravel has logged off]

[Preplayed with [ profile] lilpunkinbelly; underpass stolen from [ profile] mparkerceo. *blames [ profile] krycekrat and [ profile] fh_anonymous for wheeEEEeeeeee* OOC quite welcome. ]

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